


Youre My Light

by xxgongaxx



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:12:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3429044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxgongaxx/pseuds/xxgongaxx





	Youre My Light

They stumbled into the room kissing. Carmilla's jacket was the first piece of clothing to meet the ground. While moving closer to Danny's bed her jacket followed the other one to the ground. Carmilla pulled her shirt over her head and pushed Danny on the bed. Danny smiled and pulled the smaller girl onto her lap. The dark haired girl kissed her girlfriend again and deepened the kiss. As Danny pulled Carmilla closer so that their hips were touching through the layers of their clothes, the vampire moved her hand up under Danny's shirt and moved her fingers over the abs of the girl under her. Quickly the dark-haired girl removed her bra and started to unbutton Danny's pants while she was kissing her deeply.   
"Can we just not have...sex right now? I...I..kinda feel more like..cuddling." Danny said breathlessly between heated kisses.  
"Okay," Carmilla responded, cupping her girlfriend's cheek.  
"You're not mad?"  
"No I'm not. Why should I be mad? It would be really sad if our relationship was only based on sex, wouldn't it? It's okay. Really."  
"Pinky promise?" Danny asked.   
"You're a dork. But okay. Pinky promise. And consent is important, I'd never do something without your consent. You said no and I respect that." She bent down to kiss her. Danny smiled wide but her smile disappeared quickly.   
"Carm?" Danny looked at the girl on top of her with a worried expression in her eyes.  
"What's up sweetheart?"  
"You're so beautiful."  
"And that's all you wanted to say?"  
"No... It's just... I don't know… I'm worried."  
"About what?"  
"About you. About us. I know we defeated your mother but I have this odd feeling that something is going to happen, besides that we lost Laura. But I know that she would have wanted us to move on and be happy."  
"I'll tell you what is going to happen. We'll spend our days safe and in happiness. Just like Laura told us...before… she…" Carmilla swallowed, "died."  
"How can you be so positive about all this?" Danny asked with a worried expression.   
"Because I have you. And you give me the strength to carry on. " Carmilla smiled wide.  
Danny pulled Carmilla into a hug. "I love you, Carmilla Karnstein. And nothing will ever change that." She kissed the vampire's temple before she moved on "You know that I was really scared that I would lose you too. You were so hurt. I though you would leave me too, moments after I lost Laura." Carmilla rolled down from her girlfriend and curled herself into her side and laid her arm across the other girl's chest.   
\---   
_There was a huge cloud of dust. No one was able to see what was happening; there was just a scream. It was Laura. Laura's scream was the first thing that Carmilla could hear when she arrived at the battleground with the Blade of Hastur. The dust cloud disappeared and the scene that was visible now was horrifying for everyone. A dagger dark as the night held by no one other than the Dean was stuck in Laura's chest. What happened next was not visible for human eyes, because everything happened too fast. With her supernatural speed Carmilla dashed forward. Before she could hit her mother with the sword the devilish woman said that everyone would regret that night, and sliced the dagger along Carmilla's body, leaving a deep wound. When Carmilla hit her she let out a bloodcurdling scream and burst into uncountable pieces like glass and the pieces turned into ash. The huge light was still rising out of the pit and in that light she could see Ell she was calling her name asking Carmilla to come to her. Carmilla closed her eyes and threw the sword like a spear into the light right into Ell. She collapsed next to Laura. The light faded and only there were only a few glowing orbs left that started to float around. Danny came running towards them dropping her weapon and cradling the hurt Laura in her arms, her free hand pressing on the wound to stop the blood from flowing out of the tiny girls body. Carmilla crawled next to them. Tears blurred her sight as she looked at Laura, and surprisingly the tiny blonde was smiling. "Danny. Carm. We did it. Right? We won." Danny looked in shock at Laura then at Carmilla she wanted to say something but the words were stuck in her throat. "Laura… Please... Don't talk now. Everything is going to be alright. Okay." Carmilla said between sobs. "Carm please don't lie to me. I know it's not going to be alright. I know that it's not going to be alright." Laura coughed up blood. "Danny, listen to me. I still love you. And Carmilla, I love you too. I love the both of you. And I know that you both love me." Another swell of blood came out of Laura’s mouth. "Laura..." Danny and Carmilla said unison. "I want you two to carry on. Even if it's without me. Please don't spent the rest of your days mourning me. Keep living and smiling... do it for me. Please." Danny looked at Carmilla "DO SOMETHING. TURN HER. DON'T LET HER DIE LIKE THIS." Carmilla looked at her in shock and was tearing up again "I wish I could but..." "Danny.. " a silent whisper came from Laura. "It's okay...please don't fight." Again they both looked at her. "Give me your hands" Laura's voice was weak and barely hearable. The two slowly took Laura's hands in theirs one in each of their hands. She could barely hold her eyes open. "I love you both.. and…" she closed her eyes, the blood flow on Laura's chest stopped. "LAURA!" Danny cried out, tears streaming down the redhead's face. Carmilla stared at her girlfriend's dead body. She lost her. She lost the love of her life. Again. Suddenly it hit her. She was hurt too. She looked down at her own body; the wound was deeper than she thought. Carmilla started to panic. Then everything went black._  
 _\---_  
"I was so worried about you in that week after the battle" Danny mumbled while drawing small circles with her fingers on Carmilla's back. "Danny you looked awful when I woke up. Did you even sleep in that time?" "No. Not really..." admitted Danny.  
\---  
 _She woke up. She wished she hadn't. But she did. She woke up in a soft bed. It was not hers and not Laura's. She opened her eyes and deep blue ones were looking back at her. Danny was sitting next to her. She looked awful like she hadn't slept in days. The tall girl gave her a weak smile. "You didn't break your promise. I thought you would not make it. But you did." Carmilla looked at Danny in confusion and moved closer to her. "You look terrible beanpole. Tell me - for how long was I knocked out?" "A week." Danny answered._  
 _\---_  
"I never really thanked you" Carmilla mumbled into the crook of Danny's neck. "For what?" the redhead asked. "For letting me stay with you. I couldn't go back to that room. It was too painful." the vampire honestly replied.  
 _\---_  
 _She couldn't go back into that room. That room was so full of memories. Danny gave some of her clothes to Carmilla. They were too big, but she liked it. She could hide in them. Everything hurt. It was hard to keep her promise. But she tried. She tried moving on. For Laura. Danny did the same. She tried, but it was hard._  
 _\---_  
 _They started talking. Since Laura's death Carmilla lived in Danny's dorm room. It felt good to talk to someone. Someone who felt the same. Who felt the same loss. It still hurt. But sharing the pain made it better for both of them._  
 _\---_  
"The day you ran away after our fight," Danny swallowed, "I thought that I would lose you. I thought that you'd do something stupid. And if something would have happened to you I would have never forgiven myself that I didn't stop you."  
 _\---_  
 _"I regret that I survived this." Carmilla whispered while looking at the stars. Danny came closer to her, standing next to her. "Don't say that Carmilla.." she hovered her hand over the vampire's shoulder, considering if she should touch her or not. "It should have been me instead of her. It's my fault. I was to slow... maybe if I had arrived earlier. Maybe I could have saved her." Danny laid her hand in Carmilla's shoulder and turned her around forcing her to look her into the eyes. "Carmilla. DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT. Are you forgetting what Laura said. ARE YOU FORGETTING HER LAST WISH?" Danny blurted out with tears in her eyes. Somehow she felt sorry for saying it that way. It was the one month anniversary of Laura's death. Carmilla looked away. Avoiding Danny's stare. "How dare you to say that I could forget what her last words were." Carmilla jumped out of the open window, tears streaming down her face as she ran into the woods. For once Danny was glad that Carmilla was a vampire, because otherwise she wouldn't have survived the fall._  
 _\---_  
"I'm sorry that I made you worry so much. But I needed some space." Carmilla said calmly. "It's okay. Just promise me that if you need to run away again that you'll come back safe and in one piece." Danny added. "I'll try to," Carmilla said.  
 _\---_  
 _She came back a few days later. Soaking wet from the rain. Danny pulled Carmilla into a hug. At first she was confused and struggling to return the hug. "Do you know how worried I was?" Danny said, nuzzling her nose into Carmilla's hair. The smaller girl wrapped her arms around the taller one's waist. Carmilla started sobbing and pulled Danny closer. She buried her head in Danny's chest and listened to her heartbeat. "Come on Carm. You should get out of these wet clothes. I know you can't really get sick but it must be still uncomfortable." Danny pushed her away only a little bit so she could look into Carmilla's face. It was still weird for her to see her cry even if she had seen her cry a lot in the last month. The vampire chuckled a bit. "You just want to get in my pants. Admit it Lawrence." Danny looked at her with a smirk "Haha you wish. And now come on I'll look for some clothes for you and then you hop into the shower.” Carmilla moved to the bathroom door waiting for Danny to give her some dry clothes. "Oh and Carmilla." she paused. The dark-haired looked at her. "Sorry for what I said a few days ago." Carmilla gave her a weak smile. "It's okay, Danny." she took the clothes from Danny and went to the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water felt good. But it wasn't washing away her pain._  
 _\---_  
"You were my light in these dark times." Carmilla said as she kissed Danny's shoulder.  
 _\---_  
 _"I'm sorry..." Carmilla whispered. "Don't be. It's okay. You're suffering. I suffer too. But you, you're just a bit more vocal about it." Danny said and pulled her into a hug. At first Carmilla used to fight it when Danny hugged her but she gave in after a time. Danny's hugs were a welcome thing in these dark times." Maybe you should try to be a bit more vocal about your pain. It's helping me to deal with all this." Danny looked at her. "No I can't. I have to be strong. For everyone." Carmilla shook her head. "GOD DAMN DANNY! Stop being so stubborn! You're going to hurt yourself with this attitude. It's not healthy to bottle up all this feelings. Come on Danny, let them out." Carmilla pulled Danny closer and carefully stroked her back. "I just miss her so much. And it hurts so much." Tears were streaming down Danny's face and she could feel her knees going week. Carmilla held her. "You wanna sit down?" she asked and as she felt Danny nod she help her to the bed. Danny buried her head in Carmilla's chest, she cried for a long time. She cried until her tears dried out and her crying turned into silent sobs. It was almost midnight when Danny laid down to sleep. Carmilla was laying next to her wrapping her arms around the taller girl, building safe walls with her arms._  
 _\---_  
"It was good to spend time with you." Danny whispered slowly. "It helped me a lot." "Yeah me too," Carmilla said.  
 _\---_  
 _They started laughing again. But most of the time they were silent. "Actually you're not that bad, Xena." Carmilla said while she laughed at a stupid joke that Danny made. "You're saying that now after we spent almost three months living in the same room. And for the record you're not that bad either." she pulled Carmilla into her arms."And maybe," she said, "maybe I like you more than I thought." Carmilla looked at Danny with confusion in her eyes "What do you mean?" she asked. "Nothing Carmilla....nothing." Danny shook her head and looked at some point in the distance._  
 _\---_  
"Remember our first time?" Danny said. "Ouh damn. Don't remind me" Carmilla was laughing. "Do you regret it?" the tall one asked. "No. It was hot okay. And a total cliché. Two people fighting and suddenly the sex happens. Hate sex. Fucking hot hate sex." the vampire said with a smirk.  
 _\---_  
 _It started as a fight. The first time the two had sex with each other was more of a fight itself. The situation escalated. It was not soft and loving. It was raw. Rough kisses, biting, more taking than giving._  
 _\---_  
"We fought so much" the dark-haired said. "Over such stupid things" Danny ended the sentence.  
 _\---_  
 _"I told you to throw that thing away as soon as you emptied it." Danny said through clenched teeth. "I was just going to do it. You're just so impatient." Carmilla moved closer and glared at the tall girl. "Good then just throw your fucking empty blood pack away!" Danny growled. The vampire grabbed the empty pack and threw it in the bin. "Are you happy now!?" Carmilla asked. "Ugh just shut up!" Danny turned around to leave but Carmilla grabbed her by her wrist. "Why would you go now?" Carmilla asked. "What do you care?" Danny asked back angrily. Carmilla took a deep breath even if she didn't need to but she was used it. "Because I fucking care about you, Lawrence. And there's a blizzard outside. It's freaking cold outside. You would freeze to death before you could decide to come back to this building. Please Danny. I don't want to lose you. I need you. I..." Carmilla was silenced as Danny pulled her into a tight hug."I didn't know that you felt that way about me." she kissed the top of Carmilla's head. "Please Danny, don't say a word now. Can you just hold me now?" Carmilla asked with a shaky voice and then she could feel Danny nod. They stood there for a long time._  
 _\---_  
"That night under the stars..." Carmilla started to say but was stopped by Danny who kissed her. "That night was wonderful. A night to remember." She kissed her again.  
 _\---_  
 _They grew closer. One evening when they were looking at the stars together Carmilla said the magic words. At first Danny was stunned she just looked at Carmilla. "Fuck...I..I shouldn't... I meant it but... I..." Carmilla babbled out but before she could say more Danny kissed her. She kissed her as if there was no tomorrow. "I feel the same, you idiot. I love you too, Carmilla." she kissed her again. That night they made love under the stars. It was soft and loving. Gentle, sweet and romantic. They felt happy for the first time since Laura died. They found happiness in each other's arms. They promised not to let each other down._  
 _\---_  
"Before Laura I didn't believe in second chances. But she was my second chance and then I lost her. I lost Ell, I lost Laura. But you. You're still here, here with me. You're my third chance. I don't want to lose you too. I never thought that I would get another chance after Ell and Laura but still you're here. I love you, Danny." Carmilla said and snuggled closer to Danny. "You're great with words." Danny smiled. "Words are not the only thing I'm great with, you know" Carmilla said with a suggestive smile. Danny pulled her on top of her. "I know Carm. I know. And now kiss me, my love" Carmilla bend down to kiss her. She got a third chance in her damned life. And she would make good use of that chance.

 


End file.
